Michele Bachmann. That's All You Need To Know, Right?

"What I love about New Hampshire and what we have in common is our extreme love for liberty. You're the state where the shot was heard around the world in Lexington and Concord. And you put a marker in the ground and paid with the blood of your ancestors the very first price that had to be paid to make this the most magnificent nation that has ever arisen in the annals of man in 5,000 years of recorded history." - U.S. Representative and Tea Party Ringleader Michele Bachmann, speaking to the Republican Liberty Caucus in Nashua, New Hampshire today.

Yeah, so, Lexington and Concord are in Massachusetts, as you might remember.

What I love about this story is that it's not only  a chance to take a totally warranted swipe at Michele Bachmann -- and, you know, practice makes perfect! But this particular flub is extra sweet because it tells us that no one on Team Bachmann knows what the hell is going on. Because not only did they miss it once, but they missed it twice: Bachman made the same mistake the night before while speaking to a group of GOP members in Concord. If none of them caught this mistake then it's safe to assume that they can't manage a presidential campaign. And that, my friends, is a very important comfort right now; one of Bachmann's closest advisers told ABC News on Friday, “I’d be surprised if she didn’t run.” Yeah, that's fucking great. So, how about this: let's not correct her on the whole New Hampshire/Massachusetts mix-up, okay? Let's just let her keep doing what she's doing. If the fact that Bachmann is anti-gay, anti-Muslim, anti-believing in global warming, anti-public service, and anti-making any fucking sense isn't enough to keep people from voting for her, then maybe the fact that she couldn't pass a third-grade quiz on the states will. I mean, Jeezus.

Michele Bachmann Mangles Revolutionary History [HuffPost]

Quick and Dirty

It could be worse. I guess: And by "worse," I mean "Heidi Montag." Today's the day! Kim Kardashian's first single, Jam (Turn It Up), dropped, as they say. It's...you know...Kim Kardashian singing. I'll say this much: It's good to see Kimmie working. You can listen to the song at the link. F-Bomb Café assumes no responsibility for sad eardrums or bruised souls. Enjoy! [PerezHilton]

This is cool. No, really: Holly Madison poses in the upcoming issue of "Life&Style" in a bikini and without retouching (gasp!). Says Holly, "I've always had a butt, and I want to keep it - cellulite and all. I'm not perfect, but I love my curves." Well! How about that? Healthy, normal, and formerly intimate with Hugh Hefner. How often do those 3 go together?! Well done, HMad! [HuffPost]

Until genetics are reversible, this will have to do: Michael Lohan, Jr., brother to Lindsay and son of Michael and Dina, has decided to change his name so as to distance himself from his trainwreck father. For a minute, I thought I smelled some sanity over at camp LiLo and got excited. Alas, the new and improved Michael Cameron plans to introduce his new moniker with the upcoming movie in which he stars -- a movie produced my his batshit mother, Dina. Oh well. Baby, steps, MCam. Baby steps. [TMZ]

Reproductive health: check. Marriage equality: check. The planet: check: Republicans are flying through their to-do list of destruction. After launching full-out assaults on individual rights, the GOP has turned its attention to mother nature. House Republicans have gotten rid of the biodegradable food containers and utensils that Nancy Pelosi brought to the White House and have instead returned to using plastic and styrofoam. That's cool. No use protecting the earth while everything else is going to shit, right? Grrrrr. [Jezebel]