No, Really

Donald Trump has been tweeting about Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson's relationship. Yup. Quoth he of the ladykilling orange skin-combover combo, "After Friday's Twilight release, I hope Robert Pattinson will not be seen in public with Kristen -- she will cheat on him again!" Here's what surprises me most about this: not that Donny has an opinion about two actors' fake relationship and fake infidelity; not that the thrice-married misogynist is doling out romantic advice with what I assume is a straight face; but that he has taken time out of "fighting like hell" against the "disgusting injustice" that was Obama's reelection to share his wisdom with the Twitterverse. Relax, America -- Donald has you covered. Political problems? He's on it! Love life problems? He's on it! Polluting the world with an existence that embodies almost everything that is wrong with our society? ON IT.

[HollywoodLife]

Us Weekly Sucks, Volume Number JeezusDoTheyEverStopWithThisShit

Yesterday, Us Weekly ran this headline:

Now, I don't give a shit about Liberty Ross (neither does her skeevy husband, evidently, which I imagine is Libby's larger concern), but I care about the not-at-all subtle proximity of the words "skinny" and "sexy." And by "care about" I mean "want to kick the asshole that is responsible for." Now, I know this is not news -- that the media love to equate low BMI with high sex appeal; this is the oldest fucking story in the socialized eating disorder book. So while Us is not alone in promoting the idea that starvation is boner-inducing, they are remarkably dedicated to promoting the idea, as well as remarkably lazy about finding creative ways to do so. To wit, there was this, from two days ago:

And this, from July:

And this one, from May:

Oooh! And this one! With video!

Same words, more video:

Exclusive video!

I could go on, but I'm already uneasy about hitting their website seven times in as many minutes. So, in case you haven't picked up on the message, Us Weekly wants you to know that skinny is sexy. Although, to be fair, they aren't saying that only skinny is sexy -- that would be really crappy. No, no. Lean and slim work, too. Got it, ladies? I hope so.

Asshats.