"Giving myself a soft tissue breast massage. Ladies we have to keep those implants soft." - Heidi Montag on Twitter yesterday. Okay, so we can add this to the list of her embarrassingly pathetic cries for attention. I assume HeidiHo here thinks that the mental picture of her feeling herself up is, uh, titillating. And if by "titillating" she means "revolting," then she's correct. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to blind my mind's eye.