I'm really not going to write anything about Lindsay while she's in rehab. I'm not. I'M NOT. Because people in recovery should be left alone to recover -- which is why Lindsay chose a rehab facility far away from the blinding paparazzi lights of Hollywood. Oh wait. No she didn't. Well, anyway, she's in rehab in Southern California and everyone needs to leave her alone. Unless of course she does something like sneak out of rehab to break into a nearby medical center so that she could...wait for it...wait for it...buy a can of coke. A CAN, people. Of Coca-Cola. Unfortunately, Lindsay's plan was foiled when her co-conspirator's clothing got caught on the fence. But you didn't hear this from me. Thanks (uh, sort of), Radaronline.com!