Apple, Tree, Doesn't Fall Far, Blah Blah Blah

Radaronline reports that Darlene Egelhoff, Heidi Montag's estranged mother, is charging $5000 for motivational speaking engagements (plus expenses). Ummm...okay. Evidently, Egelhoff's speeches mirror the content of her blog, Metamorphosis of a Mother, with topics that include "Perfect You," "Cutting the Chord," and "Sunshine In Your Heart." Sounds great. And as if the idea of paying to hear the mom of a plastic surgery-addicted famewhore spew nonsense isn't absurd enough, here's a sample of the inspirational messages at Darlene's blog:

I don't have the strength to hold up my heavy head. I also don't have the strength to hold in my emotions any longer, I begin sobbing. Knowing I am alone I very dramatically roll out of my chair collapse onto the floor around me, after a while I'm empty, I feel numb, I can't think straight or even think at all.

Motivational indeed! Only $5000, people! Book her now!