Today In Desperate Famewhore TV: Soap actress Rebecca Budig took home the first crown on "Skating With the Stars" last night. Upon receiving her award, Becky said, "Wait. Am I a star? Is this shitstorm of a show for real?" Oh, wait. That was me. My bad. [Popeater]
We Don't Talk About People In Rehab But: I will talk about the rehab resident technicians who get fired after divulging confidential details about people in rehab. Enter Dawn Holland, who was fired from the Betty Ford clinic yesterday after taking $10,000 to talk to TMZ about her fight with Lindsay Lohan. Oh, and she gave them the incident report, too. Lilo and Dawn are accusing each other of "starting it," and bloggers everywhere are burdened with the task of predicting who is lying. Tough call. Lilo faces jail time if found culpable, and Holland faces the cover of Life & Style, an appearance on "Sarah Palin's Alaska," and a sex tape -- no matter what happens. [TMZ]
Insert Punchline Here: The new season of "Jersey Shore" will feature castmate Ronnie getting a rectal exam. I'm too overwhelmed by the possible uses of "Jersey Shore," and "asshole" to choose a joke. It's not a particularly surprising episode, though. MTV has nothing to offer but crap these days. Ba-dum-bum! [Jezebel]
This Goop Called Love: Blind items everywhere hint that Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband, Chris Martin of Coldplay, are splitting. I have no interest in commenting on anyone's marital discord, but I would like to make sure we all are prepared for Gwynnie's inevitable "Divorce Deprivation Liquid Diet." Get ready, people! GPal is serving up hot water and pureed kale stems for all the single ladies! Whoot! [DListed]
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