Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Backanded Compliments, Special Edition

"EXCLUSIVE: Lindsay Lohan Passes Drug & Alcohol Tests" - the top headline right now at RadarOnline. According to the post, Lindsay has passed 10 random drug and alcohol tests in the two weeks since she left rehab. Which is awesome. But I have to admit, when I opened Radar's home page and got smacked in the face with that headline, I choked and coffee came out of my nose. That's hot, right? Seriously, though, something about this made me laugh. Sorry, Linds. There is, in fact, nothing funny about this headline or about addiction in general. But, you know, it's been a long run of Loopy Lindsay and the Speedball Caper. Still, no matter how many times Lindsay steals, lies, and otherwise acts like a druggie, I, for one, will always root for her. Had any child on the street been as mistreated as Lindsay has been by her parents, society would have rallied around her. But instead, because of her wealth and celebrity, we all just watched and gasped as she surrendered her childhood to her parents' greed and slipped deeper into crazy. All to say, I feel for Lindsay. So, you go, girl; get on with your sober self. If you emerge from that family of yours healthy and well, I for one will be more than happy to celebrate you. For realz. But once you are clean, all bets are off, and I get to mock you again. Cool? Good. Now carry on.

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