Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Wherein An Artery Explodes In My Brain, Volume Number WillThisShitEverStop

From the stupid fuckers at TMZ, about Jessica Simpson's super secret Weight Watchers diet plan: "For a while, it didn't look as if she'd lose any weight at all -- at least based on her terrible Weight Watchers commercial -- so we gotta say...we're impressed."

Oh my god, Jess! TMZ is impressed with your weight loss! Good work, punkin; you really had them worried with that whole inexcusable, post-pregnancy, not-skinny-enough-yet thing. Thankfully for all of us, TMZ is vigilant about policing women's bodies, no matter what it takes. Remember last year when they reported Christina Aguilera's height and weight as stated in a police report? This is important investigative journalism, people. I mean, at a time when women's bodies are under government attack, it's comforting to know that an online gossip agency is policing our shapes and sizes. This kind of critical work should be rewarded -- with a kick to the pathetic, shriveled balls of whoever is in charge of this bullshit. I'm talking to you, Harvey Levin.

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