Thursday, December 20, 2012
"It's such an honor to be representing USA in an international beauty contest in spite of all the tragedy that's happened in this country lately. I really hope that this will raise everybody's spirits a litttle." - Miss USA Olivia Culpo, after winning the Miss Universe title last night. Oh, yes, Olivia. I feel soooooo much better about everything now that you've been awarded a huge sum of money for wearing the prettiest dress and dieting down to the most acceptable bikini size. Just when I thought this country had problems, you done swooped down and saved us all with your BEAUTY CONTEST. How can we ever thank you?
Oh, and let's reserve some of our gratitude for the real hero, Donald Trump, who co-owns the competition. That man really knows how to put good things out into the world. He is the healing, tricho-challenged, orange tinted elixir that will heal us all.