What Do You Get When You Cross Britney Spears With Jessica Simpson?

What the HELL is going on with Christina Aguilera? If you have a TV or a computer, you know that Chrissy flubbed the lyrics to the National Anthem at yesterday's Super Bowl. And that's a little strange, since, as she said herself, Christina has been "performing the anthem since [she] was seven years old." But, really, the anthem incident is only the latest in a series of personal and professional blunders that signal the all-too-familiar pop star fall from grace. To wit:

• Her latest album, Bionic, flopped, and bloggers and critics accused Christina of ripping off Lady Gaga. [I liked it the first time, when it was Brit copying Christina.]
• Christina announced she is divorcing her husband, Jordan Bratman, with whom she has a son. Now, reporters claim Jordan refuses to move out of the house they share. [He should get a place with KFed and Nick Lachey!]
• In January, rumors circulated that Christina was so wasted at actor Jeremy Renner's birthday party that she passed out in his bed, boy toy in tow. [Hi there, sloppy Jessie!]
• Also in January, at a Golden Globes after party, CAg allegedly picked a fight with "Burlesque" costar and DWTS cast member Julianne Hough. The subject of the fight is unknown, but several sources reported that Christina grabbed Julianne and "really got in her face." [Hello, Britney and her umbrella!]
• Christina failed to parlay her appearance in "Burlesque" into the beginning of a film career, due in part to lukewarm reviews of her performance. [I liked it the first time, when it was Brit in Crossroads or Jess in Dukes of Hazzard.]
• And, finally, we have the embarassing performance of yesterday. [Sort of like Brit at the MTV VMAs or Jess, well, lots of places.]

Okay, some of these items are unsubstantiated rumors, and in general we aren't in the business of reporting rumors. But I'm worried about CAg. She's the most talented of the post-Mickey Mouse Club pop tarts, and it would have been nice to see her transcend the formulaic and cautionary tales of Brit's and Jessica's rise and fall. Alas, it seems as if something (*cough* drugs and booze) is really messing with Aguilera. Might this mean that thrusting young girls into an over-sexualized industry might preclude their healthy adulthood? Uh-oh. Heeey, Miley! Watch your step, sister. It's not looking good.