Sunday, March 20, 2011

Emilio Esteves Is The Michael Lohan Of Brothers

One doesn't have to be a genius to hypothesize that Charlie Sheen's family all have a little of the crazy, too. Right? I mean, come on. Well, enter Mr. Emilio Esteves to provide valuable supporting data. Here's what Brother Esteves told The Sun about Charlie:

"There's that thing in The Godfather: Part II of 'I love you, Fredo, you're my brother, but don't ever take sides with anyone against the family', then Michael Corleone has to have Fredo 'taken out' on the boat. There are times, like these, when I want to take Charlie out for a boat ride. Charlie should know that he might have a boat ride in the future. Someone's got to be Michael Corleone."

Okay, first of all, Emilio, I know Michael Corleone. I've spent many afternoons with Michael Corleone, and you, my friend, are no Michael Corleone. With that said, what the hell, Double E? Why so violent and dramatic? In fact, it seems Easy EE was just playing. Later, he said that all he can do is "pray for [Charlie] and hope he has that moment of clarity." And it's clear Emilio isn't too hung up on Charlie's unraveling, because he quickly turned the magnifying glass (read: spotlight) on himself. Said an ostensibly thoughtful Emilio:

"All I can do for Charlie... is to try to be an example. But, really, I was a pretty poor one. I was a bad boy. I was drinking and I lost my virginity there (on the set of father Martin Sheen's Apocalypse Now) - I was 14. At one point, the prop guy told my mother, 'You've got to get your children out of here.'"

LOL! That's a great story, Emilio. It's important in times like these that we all maintain our sense of humor and remember the profundity of your adolescent virility. Seriously. With a brother like you, who needs drugs and hookers?

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