Today In Junk-Touching Legislation

I don't really understand why people are so anti-TSA. I flew to Seattle this past weekend, and for the first time I had to enter the full-body x-ray chamber (whatever that thing is called). I guess some people feel violated and objectified when asked to step in to the booty view box, but, personally, I was flattered. I struck some fierce Tyra poses in there, too. Evidently, others do not enjoy exposing themselves in the airport. In fact, on the heels of John Tyner's "If you touch my junk I'm going to have you arrested" video (you can watch it above), New Hampshire State Representative George Lambert is pushing a bill that would make it a felony to touch or view someone's genitalia without probable cause. I love that last part: probable cause. If I were still single, that'd be my new ice breaker at bars. "I bet I can give you probable cause to view my genitalia. My place?" Alas, I may never get to use my line -- at least not in New Hampshire if Lambert gets his way. Party-pooper. Lighten up, Lammy. Can't we all just get to third base in peace?