This is Felicia Garcia. She was a foster child who had lost both of her parents and who had been suffering from depression. At a high school party, she allegedly had sex with four football players. The 4 boys told everyone about it, and thereafter Felicia spent her days at school as the object of slut-shaming, harassment, and bullying -- secondary victimization, as we say. On Wednesday, the administration at Felicia's school conducted a mediation session between Felicia and one of the football players (we call this retraumatization, for the record). That afternoon, on the way home, Felicia threw herself in front of a train in front of hundreds of school mates. Shortly before, the girl had tweeted, "I cant, Im done, I give up."
If for one second you feel a twinge of "well, she did sleep with four guys at a party," I encourage you to reflect on your own decision making abilities at age 15 and then add to the mix the despair of being an orphaned foster child. Consider how difficult it must be for a child to be assertive when she has no unconditional support. Now throw in an environment that tells you EVERY DAY that, as a woman, your only worth is in your body -- oh, and that body isn't really all yours anyway. We all get to make decisions about it. Ask yourself why the girl was a pariah but the 4 football players were heroes. Add some relentless images of sexualized children, and read up a little on slut-shaming and victim-blaming.
It's the least you could do.
[NYDN]
I'm sorry, this is against my policy of trying to be the best human being I can be...
ReplyDeleteBut, as the article above states, " if you feel a twinge of 'well, she did sleep with four guys at a party"... Well -- If you feel that twinge, please throw yourself in front of a fucking train, you asshole!
This poor young woman is lost now. And frankly, the guys who slept with her, for all we know their souls are going to be haunted too (unless there is evidence of coercion, force...etc)
All this, why? Because our infantile nation still views an overwhelming natural urge as something that is both over-valued and over-shamed. That is, if you are female.
WTF?
We are bombarded with images of heads being blow off on screen. Law And Order had the following line in primetime "He's anal raping women with a banana"...
...when is this madness going to stop?
The reality is modern technology is forcing us to face our still medieval views. And it is time we do that. Women's sexuality as something to be punished, persecuted, scarlet-lettered and belittled has to stop or this kind of thing is going to happen more and more and more.
Don't get me wrong, I know it has been this way for a long time now, this arcane view, fostered by men and their ludicrous and misplaced fear of women's sexuality...
Man #1 to Man #2: What if they figure out how powerful their sexuality really is over us? They'll dump us and ruin us. And sleep with all the men they want! We better shit on them hard and shame them because they might figure it out!
Man #2 (deadpan): Dude, they know it, they've always known it. And they love us and are loyal despite of it - so how's about it we stop the 3000 year witch-hunt?
Man#1 then shoots Man #2 and calls him queer.
Newsflash people: this is the 21st fucking century and we have Facebook and Twitter - so our arcane views are home to roost. It's time to evolve or die. That's right, die. That's what happens if we all go down the toilet bowl of non-change, non-growth, and non-evolution. Just ask the umpteen million extinct species.
This poor kid, this angel, was just a canary in a coal mine. Just like the poor kids who grab guns and blow people away at school...
....they are what we are going to reap if we keep sewing this shame and judgement, instead of compassion.
There shouldn't be a person alive who can't be able to understand Felicia, all the choices she made, and the magnitude of suffering that pushed her off that track. Everyone, male or female, should have ZERO problem putting themselves in her shoes. What has happened to us that all we do is judge and divide?! We're human beings -- all of us!!
Holden Caufield was right -- he should be the Catcher in the Rye. We're going to need them out there -- in front of train tracks and crack houses and gun shops and class rooms. We're going to have to grab hold of these kids and save them.
And ourselves.
WHAT DEAN SAID.
ReplyDeleteexactly.
ReplyDeletehow terribly sad we are as a race: humans.